No Emotions
by Vin0079
Summary: With everything young Kyra Tabris has been through, can she hold on to her sanity and become the Grey Warden she needs to-even when she feels nothing. No remorse, happiness, or joy. Only cold. f!Tabris/Leliana pairing eventually. Rated M for good reason.
1. Chapter 1: The Torn Viel

**A/N: **I just wanted to say that this is my first real fanfic, so comments are greatly apprieciated. I hope you enjoy it.

**Update 1:** I felt that the first chapter here was way too short and that I left alot of details out. So, I expanded on it. I hope it's a much better read now.

**Chapter 1: The Torn Viel**

"Wake up cousin!" a red haired elf demanded loudly. "It's your wedding day! Did you plan on sleeping till noon?" The elf was shouting to another who was sleeping rather heavily on a small framed sleeping elf was also a stirred slightly at the shake of her cousin.

"...5 more minutes..." the sleepy elf said. "I don't care what today is I'm tired Shianni..."

"If you don't get up now I will get the ice water again." said the elf named Shianni."One...Two...Three!" At that moment Shianni grabbed the blankets underneath the sleeping elf and pulled, hard.  
>*Wham!* the elf fell to the floor with a hard thud.<p>

"I warned you Kyra..." Shianni said trying to stop laughing.

The elf named Kyra was still flat on the floor where she fell, with a disgruntled look on her face. "Alright, alright I'm up! Did ya have to do that Shianni?" Kyra said.

"Well hurry and get your dress on then. You need to find Soris so you can both be ready. I'm going to get my dress and join the other bridesmaids, I'll see you out there." Shianni said with a sincere smile. She gave Kyra a hug and then ran outside.

Kyra gave a sigh and wondered about the events that would come. She changed into her dress and got ready. If she was to be married then she was sure to at least look her best, especially in her beautiful wedding gown. She then put on her mother's leather boots, a git from her father earlier that day.

Kyra then walked to the door ready to be married. Only...nothing could prepare her for what was to come. Nothing...

Kyra was covered in blood. Most of it wasn't hers, but she was also cut-up. Still though, if she was in pain she didn't show it at that moment. She was worried about something else...Someone else. Tears were streaming down her face like a raging river. Her cousin lay on the floor beaten, battered, and broken. And the man who did it to her lay dead by her blade. She dropped her daggers and fell to her knees by her cousin.

Shianni was quivering on the floor where she had been the moment Kyra barged in. The bastard had raped her, they both had known that. He was about to do worse when Kyra had saved her. "...Cousin...is that you?" Shianni was still disoriented but tried to hide it.

Kyra couldn't stand it, her cousin lying on the floor quivering with fear. "I'm so sorry Shianni...I-I..." She couldn't even speak anymore, she had been crying so much. "I'm sorry.."

"Did you kill them?" Shianni asked tearfully. "All of them?"

"Like dogs Shianni" Kyra said. "Like dogs...I'm gonna get you back home. No one is ever gonna touch you again, I swear. I'll always be there to protect you... Always."

It had taken them awhile to get back to the alienage. They knew the guard would be coming right away. Kyra had just murdered the Arl's son. However, she didn't care. Soris had taken Shianni to Kyra's house to be looked after, while Kyra stayed behind to explain what happened to the Elder.

"I did what I had to Elder," Kyra said without a tone of remorse."What would've happened if I didn't make it there at all?"

The Elder sighed."I know your intentions were noble Kyra...you really are just like your mother. I don't think she would have wanted you in danger like this. I have a great fear that the conseque-"

"I know Elder..."Kyra said in a monotone."I know what my punishment will be... You don't have to lecture me anymore, I'm ready to accept it."

"I see," said the Elder."You were always a brave one Kyra..."

Before the Elder could say anymore a scrawny elf boy came running up shouting that the guard was coming. He tried to direct some of the elves on the streets to their houses but to no avail. Immediatly the guard captain spotted the elder and approached him, flames burning in his eyes. Kyra simply stood near the Elder and watched almost with a bored expression on her face.

"I want to know who is to blame right now Elder, or I will burn this entire alienage to the ground!" shouted the guard Captian.

"And what exactly would it be that needs responsibilty taken for Captain?" the Elder said.

"You know damn well what I speak of Elder!" the Captain shouted. "I want to know who is responsible for this murder!"

All around many of the alienage elves were now cowering in fear trying to find the highest or darkest places to hide and still watch the unfolding event. No one seemed to want to make a single movement for fear that the guards may take them.

Kyra stood her face becoming slowly angrier as she looked at the rest of the guardsmen. She saw how they all looked at her fellow kin,she could tell what they were thinking when they looked at a female elf. She closed her eyes and drew a single breath. As soon as she opened them her face looked as if it were made of stone.

"I did it!" shouted Kyra. There was a look of pure asonishment from half of the guard's garrisson and the entire group of Elves that had gathered around them, trying to find out what was going to happen. "It was me, only me.I killed one of my guard escorts, took his weapon and killed everyone else."

"You expect me to believe one bloody knife-ear killed the Arl's son and his entire group of bodyguards!" shouted the Captain, staring directly at Kyra

"We are not as helpless as you think Captain." said the Elder.

The Captain considered his situation for a second, as if he was contemplating the easier option. Finally he decided. "Well I respect your bravery knife-ear, but I do not admire your punishment."said the Captain."Very well, grab the knife-ear and bring her along. She will wait in the dungeoun until her punsihment is decided. You boys can do with her as you wish until then."

The look on Kyra's face could still be considered stone-like. Yet she did not look angry. For that matter she didn't look like she was feeling anything at all. Then she shivered, as if she zoned out of the situation. As she looked at the guards approaching her she grew angry once again. It must have been the look on their faces.

At that moment a tall dark-skinned man in shining white armor stepped forward out of the elven crowd. No one realized he was there.

"I'm afraid I have to step in here Captain." said Duncan, the Grey Warden whom everyone seemed to forget was standing there watching the scene unfold.

The Captain once again looked frustrated. "This is not your conflict Warden, what could you possible have to add to this matter?" asked the Captain.

" I hereby conscript this young elf into the Grey Wardens. She is to be released into my custody and I will be responsible for her from this point on." said Duncan, as Kyra looked up at him with a rathewr blank and curious expression.

The Captain's head looked like it was about to explode. His whole face was red. He wanted to shout at this Duncan, but in the end he decided the matter was out of his hands. "Very well Warden, but I want her out of this city by tonight!" shouted the Captain, a tone of spite in his voice."She is no longer welcome here!"

"Agreed." said Duncan.

The Captain pulled his men out and the Alienage breathed a sigh of releif once more.

"Gather your things Kyra, we leave immedialty," advised Duncan." You can say your good-byes and then we head out to Ostagar"

To be honest Kyra didn't really know what had just happened. As she figured it out in her head her expression returned to a solemn carved look. Her mouth seemed to be a straight horizontal line. She didn't exactly know how to respond to Duncan, but she did know that he had just saved her life.

"Thank you Duncan, I suppose I owe you my life." Kyra said with a tone of indifference. "Give me 5 minutes and I will meet you by the gates."

As Kyra walked through the alienage she could think of nothing. She felt no remorse, no grief for leaving her entire life behind. There was nothing left for her here. She was always different, they always had this look they gave her, now it didn't even matter. As she walked through the Alienage she heard them. Some of her fellow elves thanked her for standing up to the shems. But many simply gave her looks of disgust. "Bout time they find a way to get you out of here, you were always trouble." Thats what most of them said. Yet as she walked toward the Vhenadahl she didn't care anymore. And she started to feel cold oncemore. Then she noticed her cousin Soris running up to her.

"Hey Cousin! I can't believe you took all the blame for that, you saved alot of people today." said Soris. "Shianni asked about you, she wants to see you before you set off."

That was when Kyra felt a tear in her eye. She knew what Shianni felt right now. And It was her fault for not being fast enough."I can't do it Soris, I can't face her, it's all my fault. Tell her I'll miss her and to stay safe..."

Before Soris could respond, Kyra had already taken broke into a sprint toward the gate until she saw Duncan standing there.

"There you are, is everything set? Are you ready to go then? asked Duncan.

"Yes Duncan I'm ready, and thank you again." responded Kyra trying so hard not to show the strain in her voice. Duncan had noticed her running toward the gate, but made no notion to bring it up. He also noted the tone of her voice."Alright, lets set out then." said Duncan.

They set out immediatly. Kyra didn't look back until they were far from the city. At the makeshift camp they had made to sleep for the night before continung there journey to Ostagar, all Kyra could do was stare into the dimly lit campfire. All the while twidling a bloody ring between both her hands, and a single tear running down her expressionless face as she thought of what was supposed to be one of her happiest days.


	2. Chapter 2: The Road To Ostagar

**A/N:** And here is Chapter 2! I threw in a little hinting I hope you all can grasp on. Once again I hope I did okay and I greatly appreciate comments and reviews! Thanks!**  
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**Chapter 2: The Road To Ostagar**

It had only been a day since the left Denerim, but all the while as they continued their journey Kyra hadn't said a single word. She just seemed to have an almost blank expression, as if she was looking into the fade itself. Duncan had noticed this but had decided it was best not to bring it up until Kyra herself did.

"I'm sorry Duncan..." Kyra finally broke the silence, "You didn't really see the Alienage at it's best there. I never intended for anything like this to happen."

Duncan just walked alongside her with a small considerate smile on his face. "Youdid absolutley no wrong there my dear. In fact, many in your shoes would probably have done nothing at all. You are very brave Kyra, you wouldn't be here, getting ready to become a Grey Warden if you weren't."

Kyra just sorta looked at him - and then she stopped. "I've always wanted to leave the Alienage... but not like this." Duncan could see the sadness in her eyes, but her face remained expressionless. "I've hated humans for a very long time. They killed my mother because she refused to comply to their demands. She's the one who taught me to wield a weapon." Kyra's face started to look a little tense, but as she spoke the tone of her voice did not change. It didn't get any sharper or colder, and her expression remained looking a bit blank, but Duncan could see that her thoughts were very conflicting right now. "And after what that scum did to my cousin I just lost all sense-"

"You don't have to explain anything to me my dear." Duncan said, rather abruptly but sincerely. "Not all humans are like that. There is no need to dwell on the past. We have a much brighter future to look ahead to, that is, when this Darkspawn threat subsides."

In that moment, Kyra started to feel a small amount of respect for the shem who stood before her. She finally grew less tense and almost started to relax.

Duncan outstretched his hand, "Now, we must continue on to Ostagar my dear, we will be setting camp in the next clearing we find and we should reach Ostagar by morning."

And so they continued...

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It grew gradually colder as the night grew closer. The camp had been set up completely just before the last bit of light had gone and the embrace of night settled in. Kyra wasn't exactly use to the cold as it was still a little warmer in the alienage than it was on the edges of forests and on trails. She sat in the camp with a fluffy blanket that Duncan had loaned her, since she only had one outfit and it wasn't really suited for traveling. As the two travelers sat next to the fire, Kyra had decided she wanted to know a little more about the Wardens, seeing as she was going to become one in a day or so. "Can you tell me more about the Grey Wardens, Duncan?" she asked.

"What do you wish to know?" asked Duncan.

"Well for starters how does one become a Grey Warden?" asked Kyra.

Duncan looked stone for a moment. "That question and many others will be answered tomorow night when we prepare the joining ritual. There are many things about a Grey Warden that are kept secret for good reason. Get some rest Kyra, we will be in Ostagar by morning."

Kyra kinda looked a bit annoyed that her question wasn't answered but she didn't think much about it. Duncan bid her a good night and climbed into his tent as Kyra got ready to do the same. She put the fire out and headed to her tent which she kept at a distance from Duncan's for personal reasons, but that was when she heard rustling in the bushes near the edge of camp. Her instincts took over and she immediatly sprung to the trees to seek cover and try to get a vantage point of the intruders. That was when she saw them, 3 men...Bandits. They were making their way around the campsite trying to scope out who was there. Very clumsy fellows as they made a lot of noise. It was then that Kyra thought she should warn Duncan, but failed to realize one of the Bandits was directly beneath the tree she was under. At that moment just before Kyra was about to jump to another tree, the branch she was on snapped.

*Slam!* Kyra hit the ground, hard.

"Well look what we have here boys." said one of the bandits. A little elven whore seems to have fallen from the sky right into our laps. Hahaha!"

Kyra tried to get up but the bandit she failed to notice earlier quickly grabbed her, and at that moment she realized she left her weapons in her tent. She was trapped, and she knew what was about to happen. She only hoped Duncan was aware of what was going on.

"So, shall we have our way with her boys?" asked the tallest bandit, the leader Kyra thought. " I'd say this knife-eared bitch needs to learn some manners here. It's rude to eavsdro-"

Immediatley the bandit leader flew back and hit a tree, a knife in his throat. "What the hell!" the bandit that was holding Kyra shouted. "She must have frie-"

Kyra jabbed him in the stomach when his guard was lowered and escaped his grasp picking up the fallen leader's sword just in time to see a shadow cut down the bandit that had been holding her. "W-wait!" shouted the remaining bandit. " This w-was all a m-misunderstanding hehe, I'm sure we can work something out..."

Kyra walked over to him, her sword at his throat, a cold look in her eyes. "I'm sure it was..." she said, "and this was an accident." She plunged the blade into his chest and dropped him, the ghost of his cowardice still upon his face. She didn't have a single hint of remorse on her face when she killed him. In fact, she almost looked as if she enjoyed it. As she regained her composure she turned to see Duncan leaning against a tree cleaning his blades. "Duncan, I'm sorry, I should have been prepared, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay my dear." Duncan reassured, "I'm only glad I got them in time, I didn't want you hurt. Now get some rest, I will stand watch over camp tonight, just in case."

With that he sent Kyra to her tent, and she stole one last glance at him sitting by a new fire, and for the first time respected a human. She realized that he actually cared what happened to her, not like every other human she knew. As she undressed to her smallclothes and made sure her tent was secure she sat down on her bedroll and relaxed. She thought about either writing in or just reading through her journal but decided to just try and get some rest. As she layed on her bedroll she tried to remember if there had ever been another human like Duncan who cared for her even though she was an elf. It was then that she remembered something...something from 2 years ago...

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...She had been walking through the market in Denerim one evening looking for weary travelers to pickpocket. She was alone this time as the rest of her gang had decided to stay in the alienage. She had learned to stay in the alleys and on the roofs for vantage points to not only find a feeble target but also to keep watch for guards. As she walked through an alleyway she noticed a thick vine growing up to a roof, which would be perfect as a vantage point. As she got to the roof she noticed it started to rain a little, " Crap, now I've gotta be extra carefull..." she thought. She had just jumped to another roof when she overheard something. She climbed to the side of the roof and lay flat upon it so that she could see and listen without being seen. It was a guard berating an old fellow, "probably for something stupid..." she thought. She waited for the guard to walk away and for the old man to let his guard down when she leapt down from the roof she was on and silently stalked up to her target. As she cut his coin purse from him without his noticing she had thought she did it. But as she turned to run back to the alley she stepped on a stick she had failed to notice ealier. "Shi-" she thought.

"Guards! Guards! Theif! A knife ear just stole from me! Theif!" the old man shouted.

She bolted from there as fast as she could, but even so she could hear at least 2 guards and a mabari were hot on her trail. She ducked back into the alley and climbed up to the roof as quick as she could and jumped from rooftop to rooftop trying to get back to the alienage. As she jumped in the air she saw the gates to the alienage were still a ways away and she startedto get fearful, but what happened to her next was much worse than what she was thinking. She tripped...

"Woah!" she screamed as she flew from the roof and onto some old crates in another small back alley. She crashed through them and landed on her stomach. She tried to regain herself as quick as she could and looked for some kind of exit, for she heard the mabari closing in on her. She turned to run and ended up almost headbutting a stone wall. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" she yelled." I'm screwed"

She fell to her knees and looked around for something to hid in but she knew it was useless... they would be on her in a matter of seconds and the outlook didn't look good.

Just as she thought her fate was sealed something happened. Someone had jumped down from the roof adjacent to the one Kyra had fallen from and almost as fast as lightning had scooped Kyra into their arms and they were aflight. Kyra wasn't sure what was going on for the figure had a cloak on. The only thing Kyra could make out was that whoever had just rescued her, was a woman.

Before Kyra knew it she was safely inside the alienage gates and the hooded figure had set her down.

"Your safe here, be careful out there, it's dangerous." the figure said in a whisper, but Kyra could make out that her voice sounded foriegn. As the cloaked person stood up and left Kyra sitting there, the latter noticed short but bright red hair had peeked out from the hood. Ske could only make out the person's lips, but Kyra had noticed that the lips she saw were beautiful. Kyra started blushing at the thought of wanting to kiss them. And in that moment the figure was gone.

Kyra woke up immediatly a little startled by her dream. She knew it was a memory and so she decided to record it in her journal. She didn't know why, but she felt like she wanted to remember it again. And as soon as she had finished writing in her journal she fell back to sleep. She dreamt of a memory again, but this time it wasn't a good one...


End file.
